what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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