Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
