return my video game
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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