gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
well I can't set my house on fire every night
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
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