: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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