i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
