Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Shame - the story of my life.
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