I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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