i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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