ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
