the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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