dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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