Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize