whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
