Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
