Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize