Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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