so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so let's talk penis.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
