why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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