I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
