Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
