Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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