Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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