She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
