we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
