After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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