I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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