i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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