Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
