i may or may not be watching the land before time
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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