My first STD was from a foam party
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
