ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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