Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
