Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
