glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
