Jerry, you need to find god
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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