I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
whose parrot is this?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
