I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
