Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
