Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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