I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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