I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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