i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
