i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
