I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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