TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
