I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
