nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
