i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
