So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
