I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Randomize
