The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
