it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
