Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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