I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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