just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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