I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
