I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
