Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
