I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
