Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
