dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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